with_discipline | 078

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078 | [Voice]

I believe we're approaching the influx of new crew members. It's somewhat odd that so many have vanished just beforehand. Does anyone have a solid room count? [Maybe the Admiral's just. Making room. Oh God something else to worry about. :|]

[Private]

Personal log. February fifth, year unknown.

I recently underwent an...experience with my inmate, the Borg Queen. It was facilitated by the Emergency Medical Hologram from Voyager; I was able to connect with an echo of the Borg Collective, without technological alterations or full assimilation.

I have spent several days meditating on it, but I'm finding it increasingly harder to do so. The Collective provided a near perfect emotional suppression system, something I have been - struggling with for some time now. It was not complete; I did experience certain emotions while connected, but they were largely limited to positive ones. The way Elizabeth seemed to express her emotions.

[A pause.]

It felt cohesive. Controlled. Nearly perfect. Nearly. Anything seemed possible. And if that is how the Borg feel, if that is what they believe, regularly, I--

[Another pause.]

There were many voices, a constant murmur of sound, all regulated by one force. Had the Doctor not conducted the experiment properly, I believe it would have been all too easy to lose myself in the flow. It seemed that I was physically unconnected - as if my body was an unimportant extension of the greater consciousness. A tool, more or less.

[Long, long pause.]

The Borg Queen feels a certain...sadness at the loss of her connection to the Collective. A frustration, I believe. We had an agreement that in exchange for my experiencing the Collective, she would sever herself, temporarily, from the Barge network. I'm not longer certain this is a good idea.

[Private to Data]

May we speak, Commander? I would benefit from your advice.

[Private to the Borg Queen]

We should discuss the deal we made.

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We may. Do you wish to do so in person?

That would be agreeable. Are you in your quarters?

I am. I will remain until you arrive.

[And she's just heading right for Data's room, because she wants to do this before she talks to her inmate at length. Once she's there, she knocks on his oddly wooden door.]

[He opened his bizarrely wooden door.] Commander. [He stepped out of the way to allow her inside.]

[It's crazy unique. For them. T'Pol just inclined her head by way of greeting, walking inside with her arms locked behind her back. It's a sign she's got a whole, whole lot on her mind.]

I conducted an experiment recently with my inmate that allowed me to briefly access the Collective. [Preamble is for humans.]

[Fortunately Data is versed in communicating with many cultures. His brows do raise, though.] And now you have further concerns to accompany your newfound insight? [Which didn't sound promising to him.]

Part of the agreement was that she would be disconnected from the Barge network. Will we were connected, I discovered a certain...sorrow in her over the disconnection. I'm uncertain now if this would be beneficial to her.

She is not incapable of emotion, and I am certain she misses her collective. Though I believe part of the point of most inmates is assisting them to cope with their losses in healthy ways.

[He went over and sat in a chair, his inclination to emulate human tendencies greater than his need to stand. He leaned forward, fingers steepled together.]

The Collective... as much as I dislike it and the harm that it has done, is mostly at fault for violating others. The individuals that do not want to join, but are assimilated against their will and with great pain to their person. Having been a part of the Collective temporarily, I can understand its strengths.

[She follows him further inside, but remains standing, hands held tight behind her. He has a fair point; perhaps protecting her is nothing more than a hold over from the experiment. But his last statement gets a sharp look.]

How long were you connected?

Four hours. Seventeen minutes. Thirty-two point four zero nine three four seconds. [The decimal added more to make a point that time passed more slowly for him than it would for an organic mind that processed more slowly.]

[It was a point she didn't miss. She nodded, not yet prepared to admit that she'd found it appealing.]

Then you think I should proceed with disconnecting her. Do you believe it would be anything more than a painful experience for her?

Have you yet asked her former warden if he had her disconnected from the network?

...I have not. [Which means she's making mistakes, which means she's a lot farther off balance now than she thought she would. That's twice others have prompted her to do what should have been obvious, logical things, and she has to tighten her hold on shame.]

Then perhaps you ought to contact him and discover if she was integrated with the network. It might have some bearing on her previous takeover, and whether or not she did it out of what she perceived as necessity. You should also consider initiating any disconnect slowly and giving her alternative stimulus.

[She nodded, shifting slightly. It was almost an unconscious movement, the way she shifted her clasped hands in front of her, wringing them. She'd picked up the habit at some point during her time on Enterprise.]

Stimulus such as?

Alternative to occupy the processes usually delegated to collecting information for the Collective. Such as accessing the network manually, or being assigned formulaic tasks. [He raised his eyebrows.] You appear nervous. Should I escort you to the infirmary?

[If she were not a Vulcan, that observation wouldn't have been followed by that question.]

[She stopped wringing her hands abruptly, shoulders stiffening just a bit. T'Pol was almost used to how the trellium had altered her control, but she wasn't so used to others noting that she didn't conduct herself like she should.] I am not nervous.

I've considered returning some of the technological implants to her, as an encouragement. [Both deflection and actually something she's been thinking of.]

Which technological implants? [None that would assist in forming a collective was his primary worry.]

[She isn't quite that curious about it, yet.] Her body, currently, is almost completely human, whereas she'd be use to far less biological aspects in her body. There would be limitations, of course. To avoid temptations.

[He's thoughtful, because it's difficult with the Borg Queen. He can't decide.] What do you suppose would occur if she were made completely inorganic, but with functions that emulated biological processes.

[But he doesn't know if he's brave enough to do something like that. Perhaps he would like her to know what he goes through on a daily basis.]

[She cocks her head to the side, curious at the suggestion.] If she were made like you? I'm uncertain. I believe she holds the technological in higher regard than the biological.

She does, though when she attempted to lure me into the Collective she firmly believed the biological still played a vital role. Though it is a risky thought. [He shrugs lightly. He would like to give her a greater appreciation for those biological bits.]

...She is quite compelling. Though it did not change that her tactics were harmful. [He starts typing something up on his PADD quickly, hand moving faster than a human's would.]

[Quite compelling doesn't quite seem emphatic enough - but it is accurate.] In what way did she believe the biological played a role?

In what regard?

I've been considering the fact that it may do you more harm than good to disconnect you from the network.

Most likely, yes.

But it will be done.

You don't want to consider possible alternatives?

There is no greater equivalent than demonstrating preparation to make the same sacrifice asked of you, Commander.

It was not a sacrifice. [...Er.] It was a decision I made knowing that discomfort was possible, but relatively unlikely. It would seem to be a different situation for you.

You would not be conducive to similar arrangements in the future, unless this takes place.

It will happen.

[She has a feeling she really shouldn't agree to future arrangements. But.]

Very well. Are you prepared to disconnect now?

Providing restoration is provided, the moment it is requested.

Edited 2011-02-07 06:06 (UTC)

Tomorrow. I'll come to your quarters.

As you wish, Commander.

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078 | [Voice]

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[Spam] Thought I responded to this.

[Spam] It tricked you. :c

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