113 | [Voice]

[with_discipline]

[T'Pol sounds incredibly tense. She also sounds like she's about to lose her grip on everything because, lol she is. :| EMOTIONS ARE EXTRA HARD ON VULCANS, OKAY, THIS IS LIKE LOSING HER MIND. She's past trying to find solitude, because it isn't working, she's past trying to sit and meditate because it isn't working, so clearly it's time to try thinking outside the box.]

Is anyone having particular success in coping with this flood? I don't-- [Her voice kind of died mid word there so she stops, trying to gather herself, and for a second there's just some audible breathing; T'Pol's trying to use all these calming breathing techniques an they aren't doing jack for her.]

I am not handling it well.

[Private to Trip]

I need your assistance. [Lol this will be a giant mistake.]

[Private to Dean]

[She's making a solid effort to get herself under control before she sends this, but. You know. It's hard.]

Thank you. For distracting Lizzie, during the flood.

Comments

[with_discipline]

[The level of CANNOT DEAL is rising with no end in sight. God damn, Jesse, she is teaching you to control that shit when this flood is over.]

I'm afraid not.

[yeahscience]

Sucks. [There's a note of concern rising above the miasma of grief, guilt, longing, and generalized emotional discomfort. He switches to private.]

[Private]

You're not gonna...? [Because he's not affected, as far as he can tell, but he feels like he'd probably want to if he was.]

[Private]

[with_discipline]

[It takes her a moment to figure out what he means, because she can't sort out all the emotions she's getting.] I'm not in the habit of keeping a supply of trellium-D.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

But do you want to? [Seriously, he would. Hell, he wants to all the damn time, and he's not affected.]

[Private]

[with_discipline]

Absolutely not. [She actually sounds a little scared at the idea. Which is...more than she usually sounds ever.] Trellium allowed me to access my emotions. It damaged my ability to control them, it's likely why I am having such difficulty now. Using it now would...[Okay maybe it would calm her own and that is a nice possibility because she is freaking out WAIT THAT'S BAD.]

No. I do not want to.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

If you... [He's still got what he stashed away in Mr. White's room, his little rainy day fund, and if she needs something that'll make her stop feeling, or at least stop caring about what she's feeling...

But she's like him, his fellow junkie, and he knew that was a shitty thing to do even when he was doing it. He trails off, a stab of intense guilt and worry -- not for her, but for another junkie far, far away -- radiating out.] Never mind. Good luck, right?

[Private]

[with_discipline]

Jesse-- [She can't pick out what she's feeling from what he's feeling (from what everyone else is feeling), but she knows there's something there she should be worried about, especially if that guilt isn't her own.]

Are you all right?

[Private]

[yeahscience]

Yeah. I'm not affected or anything. [This is just a normal day in his head -- he feels, and feels strongly, and most of what he feels is based on remembering how shitty and stupid his life has been and how shitty and stupid it's probably going to keep being.]

Sucks for the rest of you. Come by the bar if you want a drink or something, okay?

[Private]

[with_discipline]

[Jesse you lucky bastard. She's having all kinds of difficulty maintaining any level of cool.] Alcohol doesn't affect me.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

Yeah? You and Claire both. Not sure if I'm jealous or feel sorry as shit for you.

Anyways. Still.

[Private]

[with_discipline]

Cacao products affect us in similar ways. [Emotions make her share-y.] I've been offered other options. I'd prefer those to over-indulgence.