011 | [Voice, Accidental]

[with_discipline]

[T'Pol accidentally hit her journal on. That she's moving at all while asleep is full of wtfery. There's a sharply indrawn breath as she wakes, then quiet but audible breathing, quicker than normal. Her heart's pounding away and you can hear her reaction to it.]

What--

[Oh, she's noticed the PADD; there's some rustling as she grabs it, silence as she briefly checks out other nightmare entries. When she speaks again, it's with an effort to sound calmer.]

Others have been having strange dreams, I see. But is not - normal - for Vulcans to...dream. Not after meditating. And it would seem unnatural for so many to have such dreams - nightmares at relatively the same moment.

Comments

[And now private.]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Sam knows this sounds ridiculous, knows it's ridiculous period.]

I tried meditating, but meditating makes me think of you and when I think of you I think of...

[He cuts himself off.]

And the same dreams from before come back if I try to sleep.

[Private]

[with_discipline]

[She's just gonna let that silence stretch out a bit because there's just no decent answer.]

You are human. You must sleep eventually.

Re: [Private]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

I know. I know.

[And another awkward pause where he wishes he's stronger, that he could withstand.]

But it's been happening for years. I know how to deal with it.

Re: [Private]

[with_discipline]

Do you?

Re: [Private]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

[The answer is quick though, practiced, well-rehearsed.]

Re: [Private]

[with_discipline]

[She hears that, and is definitely arching an eyebrow. If only that made a sound.]

Sam.

Re: [Private]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Ka-pang-wang?]

I can deal with it.

Re: [Private]

[with_discipline]

[Best eyebrow sound EVER.]

You'll forgive me if I find that difficult to believe.

Re: [Private]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Hurrah! However, Sam's less excited that she knows him better than he'd like.]

[A mix of callousness and self-hate:] Probably has to do with the, y'know, shooting you in the face.

Re: [Private]

[with_discipline]

[Mind melds fuck with you like that. If he's super nice, next time he can learn about her.]

Perhaps. There is no offense where none can be taken, Sam. Your reactions to stress have been less than optimal.

Re: [Private]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[He probably needs to stop shooting her in the face though first.]

That's an understatement.

Re: [Private]

[with_discipline]

[That would be super helpful.]

But preferable to discussing being shot in the face.

Re: [Private]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[He'll try to keep the crazy turned to 'holyfuck' rather than 'batshit murder spree'.]

Sorry.

Re: [Private]

[with_discipline]

[She can deal with holyfuck crazy. Murder sprees tend to end badly.]

You were not yourself. Meditation is about letting go of your emotions; if guilt stops you from doing it, you will get nowhere.

Re: [Private]

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Yeah, especially if Sam gets a hold of a gun.]

Then I won't get anywhere.

[And to be frank, he's okay with that.]

Re: [Private]

[with_discipline]

[No more weapons for Sammy.]

Your collapse due to exhaustion is more likely.

Re: [Private] - Also, I'm enjoying her bitch plz icon.

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Ever. For serious.]

All the better.

Re: [Private] - Hee! I. Honestly can't remember if I made it or picked it up. :p

[with_discipline]

[None o' that violent music either. And no video games!]

You will make yourself sick.

Re: [Private] - well, it's awesome nonetheless.

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Damn those violent video games and all that Rammstein he listens to.]

If it'll keep me from killing people, I'd say it's a fair trade.

Re: [Private] - why thank you. :> Oh. and I blame my watching JCS so much on you. :|

[with_discipline]

[She needs a cane to shake at him. Off the lawn!]

It was not my impression that murder was a hobby of yours.

Re: [Private] - I was humming it all today. Also, IDK what you're talking about. c:

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Look at that batshit crazy lady! She gives out toothbrushes on Halloween! :/]

It's happened before.

[But, then, it had purpose. He'd been defending lives, trying to stop the Apocalypse. Or so he likes to tell himself.]

Re: [Private] - Judas was in my head all day. :|

[with_discipline]

[That's cause she doesn't want visitors. :|]

And you had no reason for it? [Yeah, she doesn't buy it.]

Re: [Private] - It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying. That a man like him can waste your time.

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[Guh. Worst trick-or-treating house evar.]

It's what I used to do.

[A pause as he realizes he's revealing a portion of his past that he's been trying to keep away.]

I was a hunter until about a week before I came here. Someone who killed for a living.

[But those were evil things, ghosts, werewolves, things doing other people harm. And he saved countless lives devoting himself to it for years and years.]

Re: [Private] - Don't you understand he amuses?

[with_discipline]

[This is why you avoid the little old Vulcan ladies on Halloween.]

A hunter of what? [God, Sam, lighten up.]

Re: [Private] - But he doesn't fit in well with T'Pol's vulcan ways.

[nomoreleftshoe.livejournal.com]

[With canes and toothbrushes.]

The supernatural. [But he's a angry, pmsing puppy.]